Written by Tracy Busse DMIN, LPC, ACS
Gifts are only received by a giver. Leaders from the church and other helping ministries like spiritual direction or chaplaincy offer their wisdom, skills, resources, and most importantly, their presence. While our culture honors achievement, productivity, and knowledge, it is the ministry of presence that offers the greatest gift to individuals who are hurting.
I recently wrote a previous professor to offer gratitude for her embodiment of trauma-informed hospitality. It struck me as I had not used that phrase before (although I am sure others have). I thought about what I meant by that and I believe it connects to my understanding of being trauma-informed, while offering “radical hospitality.” A.J. van den Blink states, “This way of helping traumatized persons requires the spiritual gift of hospitality, the ability to respect them as our guests, to ensure their safety, and to be present and listen without needing to control the process, push insights, or come to premature conclusions about what is going on and what should be done”[1]
A common misunderstanding in the professional world is that being trauma-informed means you understand what trauma is and how it impacts traumatized people. However, if our definition ends there, we make a grave error. Being trauma-informed means that leaders and lay leaders alike create safe environments where re-traumatization is unlikely to occur. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) provides a standard of care through the guiding principles of trauma informed care which includes, “(1) safety, (2) transparency and trustworthiness, (3) peer support, (4) collaboration and mutuality, (5) voice, choice, and empowerment, and (6) cultural, historical, and gender issues.”[2] While SAMHSA’s guiding principles are key to becoming trauma-informed, it is also the physical presence we offer others which silently creates space to be seen, heard, and helped.
Our nervous system is constantly scanning the world around us to decide if we are safe where we are. Trauma compounds that sense of safety based on triggers from the past and unconscious bias. Individuals who were sexually abused by men are likely to have nervous systems that unconsciously stay on guard when they are alone with a man that their body deems unsafe. Similarly, people groups who have experienced historical and communal trauma will be on guard with people, institutions, and governments that were a part of their ancestor’s oppression and abuse. Our bodies remember harm and the study of epigenetics is showing how “trauma genes” get passed from one generation to the next. This is important because if you work with humans there is a great likelihood they have some experience of trauma in their lives. The traumatized individual does not look at you and think that you are safe or not, but their nervous system, through a process called neuroception, scans your nervous system to determine if you are safe. If anxiety or anger is buried under the surface, the nervous system of the traumatized individual will know.
In one of my therapy sessions with a client, I entered the space feeling frustrated about something going on outside of what was happening with my client. Within in five minutes, he paused and clearly uncomfortable told me something didn’t feel right. On the outside, I would have been the picture-perfect embodiment of a good therapist or spiritual director, but my inside communicated a different story and my client’s nervous system picked up on it. Thankfully, he felt safe enough with me to say something. I took a moment to apologize for letting something unrelated to our time together to get in the way of me being fully present to him. I took a moment to center myself in God’s presence that is embodied in my presence, and we moved into a meaningful time together.
Hospitality and presence are about love. Monastic scholar Evan Howard talks about the “radical hospitality” of the early desert Abbas and Ammas. What made it radical is that what they offered was rooted in a love that had first transformed them. Roberta Bondi says the desert dwellers “believed too fervently that, working with the overwhelming gift of God’s grace, not only could an individual come to be fully loving in a way that significantly changes the world but also that, in the continuation of the work of God begun in Christ in the incarnation, crucifixion, and resurrection, the whole human race and the cosmos itself would one day be transformed into love.”[3] Our world needs more ministry leaders and people helpers who are actively being transformed by love.
Dallas Willard wrote, “God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect.” A trauma-informed hospitality embodies love, which leads to a natural expression of that love in our presence. This is a practice, meaning it takes time to embody love. Through an integration of trauma-informed practices and spiritual formation, we can offer the people we love and care for exceptional hospitality that only comes from our God, who is love beyond measure.
If you want to learn more about trauma-informed ministry, I have two trainings coming up that will help in understanding and personal transformation. The first link is for an in-person training outside of Atlanta, GA and the second link is for an online training I offer through the Companioning Center. Both focus on offering trauma-informed hospitality.
- Trauma-Informed Soul Care register here https://sites.google.com/view/ashtreecenter/
- Trauma-Informed Spirituality: Integrating Polyvagal Theory with Ignatian Spirituality register here: https://www.companioningcenter.org/course/tis-pvt-ignatian-spirituality-for-soul-companions-aug-2024
[1] Blink, A J van den. “Trauma and Spirituality.” Reflective Practice 28 (2008): 30–47. https://search-ebscohost-com.fuller.idm.oclc.org/login.aspx?direct=true&db=lsdar&AN=ATLA0001960180&site=ehost-live&scope=site.
[2] Larke N. Huang et al., “SAMHSA’s Concept of Trauma and Guidance for a Trauma-Informed Approach,” accessedAugust 26, 2023, https://ncsacw.acf.hhs.gov/userfiles/files/SAMHSA_Trauma.pdf, 11.
[3] Roberta C. Bondi, To Love as God Loves (Philadelphia, PA: Fortress Press), 24.