Written by: Tracy Busse
Ignatian prayer often begins with a practice called “the act of the presence of God,’ which is the technical term for ‘how God looks at me.” [1] In fact, Ignatius believed this was the most important thing one could do as they entered prayer. We look at the face of love, that beholds us and sees who we are at our core. Regardless of how we behave, God’s gaze sees the beloved. “For Ignatius, God’s love is always the first consideration, and all else is viewed after and only in the light of this love.” [2]
I have wanted to write an article on church trauma for a long time, but before I did, I wanted it to be born from a place of love. Not love for the organization but for the individuals who lead. In recent years, I have hosted clients and spiritual directees that have experienced varying levels of harm from the church. Many are undergoing a faith reconstruction, as they explore who God is in the midst of an institution they no longer trust. Some have set anything related to God aside as they heal, while others look for God’s love in other places. These are acts of courage.
Church comes in many forms and is led from a variety of theological beliefs. That God is love is the foundation of this article, and hopes this is the foundation of many churches. People who have left the church would not agree that love is the foundation, and I suspect if we surveyed current church goers love would not always win as the central component of their faith. When individuals who were part of church leadership and active ministry leave because of church harm, there is an invitation to explore why.
Complexity layers this question, of which I will only discuss one element. I have worked with trauma survivors for 20 years and have learned strategies to hold space for trauma survivors individually and in ministry settings. If churches and ministries operated from a trauma informed approach, a lot of church trauma would be prevented. Any person I have encountered that has experienced spiritual or church trauma was victimized by someone asserting their power and control over another. “Traumas result from an experience of extreme stress or pain that leaves an individual feeling helpless, or too overwhelmed, to cope with adversity.” [3]
While some church trauma is clear, other traumatic experiences are clouded and not affirmed by leaders. Plenty of individuals have come to me that were sexually abused by church and ministry leaders. Most in the church can name this as abuse, but the response or lack thereof by other leaders concerns me more. But at an even deeper level are microaggressions within the church connected to the culture at large and a church history fraught with the misuse of power. This has existed since the time of Constantine to the Spanish Inquisition, the French Revolution, and presently to systemic sexual abuse covered up by church institutions large and small.
People in leadership always hold a great deal of power and influence. We do not talk enough about how to steward this power well. When a pastor or ministry leader tells you to do something, believe something or says something critical about you, the weight of these words can equate to feelings of “extreme stress or helplessness.” In my early twenties I heard a pastor say that if you did not tithe regularly, you did not love God. For a long time, I dealt with an inordinate amount of shame and guilt because I was struggling financially at the time and could not tithe. It scared me that I did not truly love God. Stephen Porges defines trauma a “chronic disruptions of connectedness.” [4] Words have power. Messages that lead one to believe their inability to act or live in a certain way separates them from God’s love is traumatic. “I am convinced nothing can separate us from the love of God.” [5]
I tend to be an optimist and do not think all leaders intend to cause harm, even though it is what they do. Interactions with pastors and ministry leaders tell me they are burned out, unsure of how to lead in the current cultural climate, have a desire to do what is right, and have their own experiences of feeling disconnected from love. This does not excuse harmful behavior, but at the core of each of us is the beloved of God, and I choose to look at all people with that lens. Help is not about excusing the harm but it may be about helping the offender return to love. This involves turning away from the harmful use of power and control. Reconciliation with God and others always asks for a return to love.
What we need is education and a willingness to implement what they learn by ministry leaders. I currently consult and train non-profits and ministries that work with marginalized individuals on how to provide trauma informed care. But more recently, I have worked with a variety of ministry leaders and pastors that want to be trauma informed. Their desire to listen and to learn gives me hope.
Trauma-Informed Care focuses on the underlying strength of every person within a ministry. It regards each individual, regardless of rank, with humility, honor, and compassion. There are six guiding principles foundational to Trauma-Informed Care. They are “(1) safety, (2) transparency and trustworthiness, (3) peer support, (4) collaboration and mutuality, (5) voice, choice, and empowerment, and (6) cultural, historical, and gender issues. [6]” When we follow these guiding principles, we create opportunities for all people to feel welcome and loved.
The late Archbishop Desmond Tutu stated in his book God Has a Dream, “that deep in all our hearts is the desire for a universe where all men and women are united in one family under God.” [7] Union with God and one another is a Kingdom ideal that we are called to explore today. It is a place where everyone matters regardless of gender, belief system, race, or rank. There is a seat at the table for you and in this Kingdom the table is a safe and loving place for everyone. “We come to understand only love can recognize love. It is only because we bear, each one of us, each fragment of creation, the trace of the divine that we dimly realize the hunger crying out from every human heart can be fed by this radiance alone.” [8] When we can express to one another the same love that God has for us, we transform what it means to be the church.
***To anyone reading this article with a history of church trauma or spiritual abuse, know that this article is an effort to educate individuals in ministry to prevent further harm. It is in no way intended to ask people who have left the church to return or to do anything that feels opposed to your healing journey. Your safety and healing matters and I hope that love will meet you in the people and places you trust most.
***Ash Tree offers online and in-person trainings related to Trauma-Informed Ministry, and can be set up through Ben or Tracy. Tracy will be teaching in Vancouver at the end of this month and invites ministry leaders to join us as we learn together. (More info can be found here: https://sites.google.com/f3c.ca/thelearningpost/). We will also be offering training on Trauma Informed Spirituality through the Companioning Center next year; you can see all their offerings here https://www.companioningcenter.org
Footnotes:
[1] Trevor A. Hudson (Professor, Fuller Theological Seminary), in e-mail to author, February 16, 2021.
[2] Timothy M. Gallagher, O.M.V., The Examen Prayer: Ignatian Wisdom for Our Lives Today
(New York, NY: The Crossroad Publishing Company),, 88.
[3] Bessel Van Der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score (New York, NY: Penguin Books) 2015.
[4] Marilyn R. Sanders, et al., Polyvagal Theory and the Developing Child: Systems of Care for Strengthening Kids, Families, and Communities (New York, NY: W.W. Norton & Company), 70.
[5] Romans 8:38 (NLT)
[6] Larke N. Huang et al., SAMHSA’s Concept of Trauma and Guidance for a Trauma-Informed Approach, July 2014, accessed February 22, 2021, https://ncsacw.samhsa.gov/userfiles/files/SAMHSA_Trauma.pdf.
[7] William A. Barry SJ, Finding God in All Things: A Companion to the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius (Notre Dame, IN: Ave Marie Press), 71.
[8] Maggie Ross, Writing the Icon of the Heart: In Silence Beholding (Eugene, OR: Cascade Books), 3